Like you expect Jesus to come back.

gundamtanalca:

the first death note opening was so good and cool and cinematic and then they did the second one and it was just

image

(Source: baddiegojokes, via ouijaboardofcocks)

Notes
27608
Posted
16 minutes ago
child:mommy what was the name of your first love?
me:*looks away* *smiles sadly* he was an avenger, and his name was uchiha sasuke
Notes
248
Posted
16 minutes ago

heartcramp:

Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.

But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be fucking cussing like a cunt-fuckin’ sailor you maggot-ridden piece of dick.

(via fisherfillet)

Notes
156348
Posted
7 hours ago

surprisebitch:

babe, dear, and hun sound so weak and cliché. if you were mine, i’ll call you sergeant, general, commander. you’d be my authority figure

(Source: surprisebitch, via dutchster)

Notes
3357
Posted
7 hours ago

wheatdealer:

celsisus:

When ur hair won’t listen to you and its a mess and ur just like ???? I grew you myself??? I gave you life and this is how you repay me??

is that how parents feel

(via theycallmegas)

Notes
127836
Posted
7 hours ago

catsfurever:

moogles4ever:

catsfurever:

$20 for a selfie with me

but I can go to the dumpster for free

imageimage

(Source: catsfurever, via missevannalynch)

Notes
236685
Posted
7 hours ago

clevverbot:

I REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU LIKE ALL THE TIME BUT I’M 3298598202938% SURE THAT I ANNOY YOU SORRY

(Source: clevverbot, via fisherfillet)

Notes
12738
Posted
7 hours ago

whitegirlsaintshit:

nyu-tah:

omg P L E A S E

“maybe i’ll just roll over and lay on her booty”

(Source: so-not-the-norm, via theycallmegas)

Notes
19142
Posted
7 hours ago
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